


Movie Date

by CherryMilkshake



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: F/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, set before Rose and Kanaya's first date, the one where Rose gets drunk off her ass, yeah that one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 09:29:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryMilkshake/pseuds/CherryMilkshake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose has mysterious plans that she's keeping from Kanaya, and Kanaya, in proper form, frets. And who does Kanaya bother when she's fretting about quadrants? Why, Karkat, of course!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Movie Date

\--tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]!--

TT: Now that we are safely out of that dream bubble, would you care to do something? Dinner perhaps? And then maybe we could get Karkat to lend us one of his more interesting films. I do admit, troll romance as a topic is extraordinarily fascinating to me.   
TT: Though if you’d rather watch or do something else, my plans are flexible.  
GA: Dinner And A Movie Sounds Fine  
GA: Karkat Does Have One Or Two Films I Have Not Yet Seen And Would Like To  
TT: Excellent. Then I will see you in a few hours?  
GA: Why Not Now  
TT: I have a few things to do with Dave. Nothing too exciting.  
GA: Very Well  
GA: I Will Be In The Common Area In A Few Hours  
GA: I Suppose I Could Decide The Movie While I Wait  
TT: That’s a great idea. See you then.

\--tentacleTherapist  [TT] is now busy!--

Kanaya frowned as she closed her lunchtop, wondering what it was Rose was up to that she didn’t want her there. Perhaps Seer things pertaining to the scratched Earth session? But she hadn’t seemed to mind Kanaya’s presence at those meetings before...

With a sigh, she opened Trollian and began to troll Karkat.

\--grimAuxiliatrix  [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist  [CG] \--

GA: Karkat I Could Use Your Advice On Something  
CG: WHY DOES IT SEEM THAT TROLLS ONLY TALK TO ME WHEN THEY NEED SOMETHING? “OH, KARKAT, I SEEM TO HAVE GOTTEN MY HORNS STUCK IN THE LOAD GAPER THAT IS MY LIFE. WHAT DO??” MAYBE I’M FRESH OUT OF ADVICE TO GIVE. MAYBE I’M ACTUALLY FULL OF SHIT AND MY ADVICE IS AS USEFUL AS A DEAD LUSUS OR A NOOKSTAIN OF A “DANCESTOR”.  
GA: …  
GA: Did Kankri Find You Again  
CG: HOW DID YOU GUESS?  
GA: This Is Not Just About Him Though Is It  
CG: NO.  
GA: Did You Want To Talk About It  
GA: I Have Some Time Before Rose Is Expecting Me  
CG: NO. IT’S JUST MORE OF MY OWN QUADRANT SHIT. LET’S TALK ABOUT YOURS INSTEAD.   
CG: BECAUSE YOU NEVER COME TO ME FOR ANY OTHER KIND OF ADVICE.  
GA: Would You Rather I Come To You Before Making All My Decisions  
CG: NO. JUST TELL ME YOUR ISSUE WITH ROSE NOW.  
GA: It Is Not An Issue With Her Per Se  
GA: I Am Just Beginning To Wonder If I Have Gotten Myself Into A Rut Again  
GA: We Are Not Pale At All But Despite My Numerous Attempts To Embolden My Flushed Solicitations Our Relationship Seems To Be Stagnating  
CG: MAYBE SHE’S AS NERVOUS AS YOU ARE. FROM WHAT I’VE SEEN FROM THE HUMAN MOVIES ROSE GAVE ME, HUMANS DON’T REALLY DO ROMANCE BEFORE 6-7 SWEEPS. YOU’RE PROBABLY THE FIRST FLUSHED INTEREST SHE’S HAD.   
CG: I WOULDN’T WORRY ABOUT IT. SHE’S TOTALLY RED FOR YOU, KANAYA, DON’T EVEN TRY TO TELL YOURSELF SHE’S NOT.  
GA: But She Did Not Want Me Around While She Did “Something” With Dave  
GA: This Is Unusual And Disturbing  
CG: HUMANS HAVE THAT “INCEST” TABOO THOUGH. SHE’S NOT INTERESTED IN DAVE. BESIDES, DAVE’S ONE HUMAN QUADRANT IS FILLED BY TEREZI, SO HE’S NOT EVEN AVAILABLE.  
GA: Did That Sound Bitter  
CG: I’M ALWAYS BITTER.   
CG: I’M BITTER THAT I FUCKED UP MY ONE NOT-DEAD PROSPECT. I’M BITTER THAT DAVE BLACKFLIRTS PERFECTLY WITHOUT ACTUALLY KNOWING WHAT THE HELL HE’S DOING, WHILE I’M PERMANENTLY SET TO “IRRITATING ASSHOLE”. I’M BITTER THAT EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE COMES TO ME FOR ROMANTIC ADVICE, I CAN’T SEEM TO GIVE MYSELF ANYTHING GOOD.  
CG: YES, KANAYA. THAT SOUNDED BITTER.  
GA: You Do Not Need To Rant At Me  
GA: I Was Only Trying To Tease You Like Rose Would  
GA: My Human Sarcasm Still Needs Work It Seems  
CG: YOU’RE FINE. I JUST FLY OFF THE FUCKING HANDLE AT EVERY POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY AND WHO THE HELL KNOWS WHERE MY PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MOIRAIL IS WHEN I NEED HIM.  
GA: Since I Have Overcome The Desire To Saw Him In Half  
GA: Well Mostly Anyway  
GA: Would You Like Me To Help You Look For Him  
GA: Porrim Taught Me How To Control My More Lightbulb-Like Tendencies So I Could Be Quite Helpful  
CG: WOW, THIS IS REALLY BOTHERING YOU, ISN’T IT? I KNOW YOU DON’T WANT TO LOOK FOR GAMZEE.  
GA: No Not Really  
GA: But I Do Want To Not Think Too Hard About This And Give It More Weight Than It Actually Warrants  
GA: I Miss My Garden  
GA: This Is When I Would Redesign My Hedges  
CG: YOU COULD REDESIGN ONE OF THE LABS?  
GA: It Is Just Not The Same  
GA: Glass Shatters Upon Contact With A Chainsaw And I Do Not Want To Ruin This Skirt  
GA: It Is My Favorite  
CG: HAVE YOU MANAGED TO ALCHEMIZE A NEW WARDROBIFIER?  
GA: Not Yet  
GA: The Alchemiter Seems To Relish Turning All My Attempted Combinations Into Knitting Materials  
GA: I Am Beginning To Wonder If I Should Blame Rose For This  
GA: She Seems Quite Amused By It  
CG: ALRIGHT THEN. MEET ME BY THE ALCHEMITER. I KNOW BEING ABLE TO CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES AT RANDOM WILL IMPROVE YOUR MOOD DRAMATICALLY, NO MESS REQUIRED.  
GA: You Are Likely Correct  
GA: Very Well See You Soon

\--grimAuxiliatrix  [GA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--

Two hours later, and all that Kanaya and Karkat had managed to alchemize was a pile of gray and green yarn, three yarn baskets and a lone squiddle that stared at them as if asking what they had done with its tanglebuddy and how they would like to die if it didn’t appear.

“I just don’t get it!” Karkat growled, raking his claws through his hair. 

“Well, this is the first time I’ve managed a squiddle. That is a start, I suppose.”

“It’s creeping me out.”

“Yes...”

They buried it in the yarn pile to hide its blank eyes. 

“So,” Karkat said, “when are you meeting Rose?”

Kanaya glanced at her computer, checking the time. “In about an hour.” She blinked. “Oh right. I was supposed to decide a movie for later. May I borrow one of your movies, Karkat?”

“Sure. Which one?”

They began walking back towards the transportilizer. 

“Rose said she was interested in romance...”

“And that only describes 98.5% of all of my movies. You’re going to have to be more specific.”

Kanaya chuckled. “Well, perhaps one with a more caliginous focus, since humans have no equivalent? And preferably something I haven’t seen.” She paused. “Or perhaps a classic blackrom? It wouldn’t do to start getting into quadrant-bending until the basics are understood.”

Karkat nodded as he tugged Kanaya onto his platform. “I have a handful that would work. How do you like Troll Emma Stone?”

“She is adorable.”

“Okay then, I know just the one.” He walked over to his DVD shelf, which was the only neatly organized part of the room. Burned DVDs as well as official releases were organized by main quadrant, and then by title. He eased one off the shelf and held it out to Kanaya.

_A Middle-aged Greenblood Learns That His Matesprit Is Having a Flushed Affair With a Fellow Entreprenihlist and Flips Black For Her. He Finds a Moirail Who Teaches Him How to Make Proper Flushed Overtures So That He Can Have a Matesprit Again. Meanwhile Said Moirail is Having Difficulty Earning the Black Affections of a Feisty Blueblood Whose Kismesis is Beginning to Stop Hating Her and Becomes Caught in a Cycle of Vacillation With Her. The Greenblood Finds Himself Auspitizing for his Brownblooded Assistant. Contains Quadrant Flipping, Three Concupiscent Acts, One Onscreen Beheading and Public Humiliation._

“There’s a lot of vacillation,” Karkat was explaining, “and the main couple is a flushed one, but I think it shows kimesissitude very clearly, especially in terms of the nuance of hating someone. Plus, Troll Emma Stone is really attractive in a blackrom, not going to lie.”

“This sounds perfect as an introduction to the different quadrants. Rose was having some difficulty with ashen and black, particularly. Pale, also. She seems to have difficulty with the line between matesprit and moirail.”

“So, she has trouble with all of them.”

“Yes...”

“Well, all the better to watch a film with all of them then. Of the humans, Rose is probably the least stupid. It shouldn’t be too hard for her to follow.”

“Thank you, Karkat, I appreciate your help and company.” She gave him a soft smile, and tucked the movie into a hidden pocket of her skirt. There was a reason the red one was her favorite.

“How much time until you meet?”

Kanaya checked again. “Forty-five minutes now. Would you like to wait in the common area with me?”

Karkat shrugged. “Sure, I’ve got nothing better to do with my life.”

They began walking back, both unsure where the conversation should go.

“Would you like to talk about what happened in the dream bubble?” Kanaya asked after a few moments.

“No.” Karkat crossed his arms, hunching in on himself. 

“Karkat…”

“No, I don’t want to relive my past self’s terrible decisions. Not any more than I have to, at least.”

“I don’t think it’s really fair that I told you everything about Rose and myself, and you won’t even tell me what’s wrong.”

The common area was empty. The knit pile stared at them invitingly, its soft innards just begging for a feelings jam to be done inside them.

“Please, Karkat? Just a little?”

With a heavy sigh, he relented. “Fine. Let’s get comfortable at least. But if you start trying to cuddle me, I swear to God--”

Kanaya held up her hands in mock defeat. “No pale solicitations here. Just friendship overtures, I promise.”

They lay down in the knit pile, staring up at the distant ceiling, and Karkat recounted about meeting Meenah and then Terezi, and what he’d said to them both. And as pale as the atmosphere got, Kanaya kept to her word, even if the more he talked and the quieter he got, the more she wanted to pap his poor, sad face. 

After he finished, Kanaya surreptitiously checked the time. It was well past the time Rose had said to meet. It wasn’t like her to be late.

She said as such to Karkat.

“Maybe she’s doing stupid human prep things,” he suggested, sounding eager to change the subject from himself. Kanaya wondered how long it had been since he’d had alone time with his moirail, if he’d had any at all. 

They sat together in the pile in amiable silence. Until an hour had gone by and Kanaya began to fret. “I hope she’s okay. It’s really not like her to to be late. Especially not this late.”

“I’m sure it’s fine, Kanaya.”

“But what if it’s not?”

He didn’t have much of an answer for her. 

Finally, Kanaya couldn’t take it anymore, and decided to set off to find Rose and see what had happened to her. Maybe, at the very least, she could find Dave and figure out what they’d been doing. 

She found them both in the kitchen area, Rose wearing the dress Kanaya had helped her make and design, with Dave sitting across from her, headphones on, but they appeared to be off.

The room smelled strange, sort of sharp, like cleaning fluid. And Rose was acting very strangely. 

It didn’t take long for Kanaya to guess what had happened, but she wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Should she be happy that Rose was fretting about their outing perhaps even more than Kanaya had been? Or should she be upset that Rose had turned to soporifics instead of her for comfort and reassurance? Sure, those fell more on the pale end of the red spectrum, but to Kanaya’s knowledge, the entire red spectrum was human romance, so shouldn’t she have been the person Rose went to for comfort?

There was acid on Rose’s breath when she exhaled, breathless and giggly. It made Kanaya’s nose crinkle back in distaste, but Rose didn’t seem to notice. Kanaya had trouble following the conversation, but she did her best, giving quiet thanks to Karkat for giving her practice in unravelling seemingly nonsensical metaphors. 

And then, Rose kissed her. 

And then proceeded to fall down a flight of stairs with a look of pure rapture on her face.

Kanaya found herself smiling, even as she desperately chased after the rolling girl.

\--

\--grimAuxiliatrix  [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--

GA: I Kissed Rose  
GA: Well  
GA: Rose Kissed Me  
CG: CONGRATULATIONS. I BELIEVE “I TOLD YOU SO” IS THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO THIS. EVEN IF I FEEL THE NEED TO EXTEND THIS SUCCINCT PHRASE INTO: “I TOLD YOU THAT SHE WAS FLUSHED FOR YOU AND THAT YOU HAD ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO WORRY.”  
CG: WHAT WAS SHE DOING THAT TOOK SO LONG, BY THE WAY?  
GA: Drinking Some Sort Of Human Soporific   
GA: It Made Her Act Quite Cutely  
GA: Though It Smelled Awful  
GA: Like Rotten Sopor  
CG: SO LIKE GAMZEE’S HIVE?  
GA: I Suppose  
GA: I Have Not Had The Pleasure  
CG: WHAT PLEASURE?  
CG: OH.  
CG: GOOD USE OF HUMAN SARCASM.  
CG: SO ARE YOU OFFICIAL MATESPRITS NOW? NO MORE MEOWBEAST-FOOTING AROUND?  
GA: I Have Yet To Ask  
GA: She Fainted After The Kiss  
CG: …  
CG: IS THAT A GOOD THING? DO HUMANS DO THAT? I FEEL LIKE TEREZI WOULD’VE MENTIONED IF HUMANS FAINTED AFTER KISSING. OR WE WOULD’VE SEEN DAVE WALKING AROUND WITH TERRIBLE DRAWINGS ALL OVER HIS FACE.  
GA: Maybe It Is A Female Response?  
GA: To Be Honest  
GA: I Suspect It To Be The Soporific  
CG: YOU SAID IT MAKES HER CUTE THOUGH.  
GA: Well Yes  
GA: You Are Right  
GA: I Am Probably Just Fretting Without Reason Again  
CG: LET ME KNOW THE NEXT TIME SHE IMBIBES. I WANT TO SEE HOW SHE ACTS FOR MYSELF.   
CG: THE IDEA OF ROSE LALONDE ACTING CUTE BOTH INTRIGUES AND TERRIFIES ME.  
GA: That Goes For All Of Us I Think  
GA: We Never Did See The Movie Though  
GA: And I Do Not Want To Disturb Her Sleep  
CG: WELL, I DON’T WANT TO SLEEP FOR ANOTHER GOOD WEEK OR SO. AND IT’S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I WATCHED THAT ONE.  
CG: I COULD MAKE GRUBCORN?  
GA: That Sounds Lovely Actually  
GA: I Will Meet You At Your Block In Ten Minutes  
CG: DON’T FORGET THE MOVIE. 


End file.
